Verne Troyer’s sex tape even made it into song, referenced in the Hedley song Cha Ching. You have to admire Verne Troyer’s penis, because he’s basically taken a no lines role in the Austin Powers movies and parleyed it into something resembling a career, which is more than you can say for most of the other people that have been in similar positions.

You also have to admire the fact that he consistently gets women, despite having Verne Troyer’s penis. Actually, that’s probably not fair, since one thing we learned from the Verne Troyer sex tape is that Verne Troyer’s penis is actually kind of impressive for a guy that’s barely over two feet tall.

This should tell you a couple of things. The first is that things like your body and your looks don’t have as much to do with pulling hot girls as we all like to imagine. I mean, even if you scaled him up to regular size, Verne Troyer is not a handsome man. Plus he has a barb wire tattoo around his bicep, which generally causes most women’s legs to clamp shut like a bear trap snapping shut.

Of course, Troyer presumably does okay in the money department, which is arguably more important than what he has going on in the Verne Troyer looks department or the Verne Troyer penis department. But realistically, what he really has going for him is personality, charm and a lot of sexual energy.

There’s no supplement yet devised that can give you charm or personality, but there is something that can be done about the sexual energy. Maxuvia is a supplement specially designed to give you all the sexual energy and appetite you’ll ever need. If Verne Troyer can acquit himself well without Maxuvia, imagine what you’ll be able to do with it.